Lifestyle Uncategorized

Weird fears I have as a 24-year-old

  • That one day a pigeon is going to fly at my face and get caught in my hair and I’ll just have a pigeon attached to me
  • Getting really drunk at something vaguely work related and that being the one night of my entire life that drunkenness leads to public nudity
  • Public nudity in general
  • Babies with a lot of hair
  • Giving birth to a baby with a lot of hair and feeling the hair
  • The imminent destruction of our climate and our current way of life
  • Butterflies
  • Falling down the escalator at rush hour and just getting trampled by men in suits
  • The judgement of men in suits
  • That one day I’ll walk around with something really obviously in my teeth all day and everyone at the end of the day will be like oh no one noticed but actually they all did and they’ve been talking about it all day
  • That everyone I email at work who doesn’t actually know me thinks I’m a real bitch but it’s actually just my profesh writing style that makes me seem like one
  • Getting gum caught in my hair right by the roots and having to cut it out so I’m left with a patch of stubble on my head and eventually a big sticky-up bit grows and it won’t go down for a couple of months (this may or may not have happened to me previously)
  • Biting into something too crunchy and snapping a tooth
  • The undeniable upswing of the far-right and associated violent movements
  • Just general terrorism really
  • David Attenborough not existing
  • That one day we’ll all realise that some obscure conspiracy theory was actually true and we’ll be forced to change our world views
  • Touching wet soggy food in the sink
  • Eels

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