- Pay attention to the whole profile.
I’ve always viewed a dating profile as a complete facade of edited images and the cringeyness of someone trying to come across witty, so if they were my type based on looks alone I’d swipe right and see if the conversation is somewhat stimulating. Turns out that most of the time it wasn’t, but once I began to read a profile and find some common interests I started to meet many more interesting people and we had a lot more to talk about. It’s not a fool-proof system but it definitely pays off to get a sense of someone’s hobbies and how they spend free time. If all you can tell from a profile is what their face looks like, then keep swiping because they probably have as much personality as me on a Sunday morning.
2. Don’t be disheartened if they aren’t putting in much effort.
There has been many a dead conversation had on dating apps, but if you are like me and swiping right is a rarity then you can feel pressure to keep trying, even if its painfully obvious one of you is not interested. If someone is not putting in the effort then do not be afraid to abruptly cut a conversation short, you may think this is harsh but let me tell you that if they haven’t taken an interest in the first instance, they aren’t going to. Remember this is not a reflection on you, you are both strangers who owe each other nothing and sometimes you just don’t click.
3. The pressure of the first message is real.
Getting the opening message right is key because when you are trying to start a conversation with a total stranger based on a few pictures and a 2 line bio, everything feels cheesy and forced. Choosing an opener that is a reference something on their profile can open up more possibilities for exchanges of information that can tell you more about someone and whether you have anything in common but its important not to come across too keen. It’s always a good idea to show them your sense of humour because wit is attractive however there’s a fine line between a harmless joke and someone getting offended or thinking you are weird, not everything reads well.
4. The pickings are slim but don’t keep furthering your distance preferences.
Lets be honest, no one wants to travel 10+ miles for a date and the people who do for a total stranger are weird. If it goes any further than the first date who wants to be regularly doing that journey, I certainly don’t. Instead of upping the distance to find your match, try having a play around with your other settings or like height, age, hobbies and habits.There are also so many dating apps out there at the moment, aside from the obvious ones like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge, try a different app if you get bored of the last one. (see article 5 most niche dating apps on the IOS App Store) My last piece of advice to you if you have tried all of the above and are feeling a bit exasperated is, delete the apps and take a break. At the end of the day there is nothing better than meeting someone in person and hitting it off naturally.
5. It’s ok to use apps to build your confidence if you aren’t sure about dating yet.
This is probably a bit of a controversial one and some may call it time wasting, but I disagree. If you have left a long-term relationship or have otherwise been out of the dating game for a while, apps can be good practice to get your foot in the door of the dating world. They are great for seeing who is out there, re-discovering your confidence and trying to date outside your usual type or circle of people. As Carrie Bradshaw would say “trying you on to see if you fit.” Finally dating can be hard so you have to put your needs first to figure out what’s best for you, just don’t hurt anyone in the process.